| [Thana Harris] He used to be very kind…
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| (In his own crude way)
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| He wasn’t always like I wanted him to be!
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| He wasn’t smart
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| He wasn’t handsome either
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| But he thrilled me when he drilled me
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| And I’ve never loved a monster quite like he…
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|
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| Because his love was so “flambay”
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|
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| His kisses burned me so
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| His kisses turned me
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| From a queen on a throne
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| To a shrivelling stool!
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| Here I stand, all alone:
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| A spider’s fool!
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| (When it’s me he needs to fondle his tool!)
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|
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| I guess some bugs are just that way!
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| He don’t really need your love
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| He don’t really need you…
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| To be there
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| When his hair
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| Gets matted and gray
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| With a broom cleaning his room
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| From the mess he made that day
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| Out of earthling arms he nibbled away!
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| Oh, Hunchentoot, my love, how could you desert me now?
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| Oh, Hunchentoot, you brute, can’t you see I want you?
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|
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| Stay with me!
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| Flagrantly!
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| And we’ll have ecstasy!
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| For all eternity!
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|
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| Because your love is so “flambay”
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|
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| Your kisses burn me so
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| Mmmh, your kisses turn me
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| From a queen on a throne
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| To a shrivelling stool!
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| I don’t mind if you’re unkind
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| ‘Cause spiders rule!
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| Yes, you’re all real cool
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| With those little webs you spool
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| And all your “spider drool”
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| Oh, let me float in your pool!
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| [Thana Harris] Listen carefully, Spider of Destiny!
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| You must heed the call of cosmo-biology!
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| Listen to me!
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| If you eat the earthlings now
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| Things will all be fine, and then
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| We’ll repair our love somehow
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| And resume the busy schedule
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| Of our ruthless conquest once again!
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|
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| Listen carefully, Spider of Destiny!
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| I will not allow this marvelous opportunity to be taken from me!
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| Taken from me!
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| Eat the Earth people! Eat them and chew them and brutally
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| Stomp on the rest of what’s left
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| And then report to me…
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| For the conquest of Earth (and the moon and the stars)
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| And the space in between all the comets and stuff
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| Will be ours!
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| [Instrumental]
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|
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| Eat the Earth people! Eat them and chew them and brutally
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| Stomp on the rest of what’s left
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| Stomp on the rest of what’s left
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| Stomp on the rest of what’s left
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| [Thana Harris] Time is money…
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| But Space is a long, long time!
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| Perhaps you are surprised to see I speak your language?
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| But I have been monitoring your Earthly broadcasts for many years… for many years…
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| And the reception on my little planet is extremely fine!
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|
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| Time is money…
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| Space is a long, long time!
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| On my lonely throne in the cosmic night
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| I ponder the vast expanses between your puny world and mine!
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| From my Couch-In-The-Sky
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| As my planet goes by
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| I behold all your misery below there!
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| I have seen all your lying
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| And crying, and dying
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| And, believe me, your planet is nowhere!
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|
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| Space is a very long time!
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|
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| (And if the equation, as set forth above
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| Is proved when we get to the bottom line…
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| The “Powers Financial” I’ll hold o’er your world will complete my fantastic design!)
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|
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| And the whole “Equivalent Earth” shall be mine!
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| And the whole “Equivalent Earth” shall be mine!
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| And the whole “Equivalent Earth” shall be mine!
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| Mine!
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| Mine!
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| Mine!
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| Mine!
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| Mine!
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| Mine!
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| Mine!
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| Mine!
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| MINE!
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| [Notes by FZ on “The Guitar World according to Frank Zappa” - 1987] “Sleep Dirt” was one of several disputed releases involved in the infamous Warner Brothers / Cohen Brothers law suit. The retail copies that eventually reached the marketplace were distinguished by unattractive covers, miserable disc mastering and non-existent promotion. Consequently, few fans have heard this cut.
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| I seldom play acoustic guitar, and this performance (the only complete take from the session) is a rare example of a performance in this setting. The tune itself was composed in a hotel room in Stockholm, Sweden, sometime in November 1971, as a result of borrowing the Martin guitar (owned then by Mark Volman) and experimenting on a day off during the tour. I eventually traded Mark a Telecaster for the Martin. It now sits unused in a dark corner of the studio.
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| [FZ] Arf
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| [James Youmans] About that tempo?
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| [FZ] Mm-hm
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| [Instrumental]
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| [James Youmans] Damn!
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| [FZ] Gettin’ tired?
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| [James Youmans] No, uh… my fingers got stuck!
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| [Instrumental]
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| [Patrick O’Hearn] Damn it!
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| [Instrumental]
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